To the beloved Stockmar, to whom but a little while before she had
communicated her unalterable determination not to marry any one for ever
so long the newly betrothed wrote: "I do feel so guilty I know not how to
begin my letter; but I think the news it will contain will be sufficient
to ensure your forgiveness. Albert has completely won my heart, and all
was settled between us this morning. I feel certain he will make me
happy. I wish I could feel as certain of my making him happy, but I will
do my best."
Among the entries in the Queen's journal are many like this: "How I will
strive to make Albert feel as little as possible the great sacrifice he
has made. I told him it _was_ a great sacrifice on his part, but he
would not allow it."
Of course the Prince had too much manly feeling and practical good sense
to "allow it." He knew he was the most envied, not only of all poor
German Princes about that time, but of all young scions of royalty the
world over; and besides, he loved his cousin. There is no record or
legend or hint of his having ever loved any other woman, except his good
grandmothers. To her of Gotha he wrote: "The Queen sent for me alone to
her room the other day, and declared to me in a genuine outburst of
affection that I had gained her whole heart, and would make her intensely
happy if I would make her the sacrifice of sharing her life with her, for
she said she looked on it as a sacrifice; the only thing which troubled
her was that she did not think she was worthy of me.
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