Like Mack I'm divided on a
matther iv principle between a desire to cemint th' 'lieance an' an
affiction f'r th' Dutch vote. But if Kruger had spint his life in a rale
raypublic where they burn gas he cud've settled th' business without
losin' sleep. If I was Kruger there'd've been no war."
"What wud ye have done?" Mr. Hennessy asked.
"I'd give thim th' votes," said Mr. Dooley. "But," he added
significantly, "I'd do th' countin'."
WAR AND WAR MAKERS
"I tell ye, Hinnissy," said Mr. Dooley, "Ye can't do th' English-
speakin' people. Oursilves an' th' hands acrost th' sea ar-re rapidly
teachin' th' benighted Lutheryan an' other haythin that as a race we're
onvincible an' oncatcheable. Th' Anglo-Saxon race meetin's now going on
in th' Ph'lippeens an' South Africa ought to convince annywan that give
us a fair start an' we can bate th' wurruld to a tillygraft office.
"Th' war our cousins be Sir Thomas Lipton is prosecutin', as Hogan says,
again th' foul but accrate Boers is doin' more thin that. It's givin' us
a common war lithrachoor. I wudden't believe at first whin I r-read th'
dispatches in th' pa-apers that me frind Gin'ral Otis wasn't in South
Africa. It was on'y whin I see another chapter iv his justly cillybrated
seeryal story, intitled 'Th' Capture iv Porac' that I knew he had an
imitator in th' mother counthry.
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