An' off goes th' sojers an' they meet a lot
iv la-ads that looks like thimsilves an' makes sounds that's more or
less human an' ates out iv plates an' they swap smokin' tobacco an'
sings songs together an' th' next day they're up early jabbing holes in
each other with baynits. An' whin its all over they'se me an'
Chamberlain at home victoryous an' Kruger an' Schwartzmeister at home
akelly victoryous. An' they make me prime minister or aldherman but whin
I want a man to put in me coal I don't take wan with a wooden leg.
"I'll niver go down again to see sojers off to th' war. But ye'll see me
at th' depot with a brass band whin th' men that causes wars starts f'r
th' scene iv carnage. Whin Congress goes forth to th' sun-kissed an'
rain jooled isles iv th' Passyfic no more heartier cheer will be beard
thin th' wan or two that rises fr'm th' bosom iv Martin Dooley. Says I,
give thim th' chanst to make histhry an' lave th' young men come home
an' make car wheels. If Chamberlain likes war so much 'tis him that
ought to be down there in South Africa peltin' over th' road with ol'
Kruger chasin' him with a hoe. Th' man that likes fightin' ought to be
willin' to turn in an' spell his fellow-counthrymen himsilf. An' I'd
even go this far an' say that if Mack wants to subjoo th' dam
Ph'lippeens----"
"Ye're a thraitor," said Mr.
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