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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

Th' American foorces is r-ready f'r to start
immejately, but they ar-re not there yet. Th' British gin'ral is waitin'
f'r th' Victorya cross befure he does annything, an' th' Japanese an'
th' Rooshan is dancin' up an' down sayin' 'Afther you, me boy.'"
"But afther awhile, whin th' frost is on th' pumpkin an' th' corn is in
th' shock, whin th' roads has been repaired, an' ivry gin'ral's lookin'
his best, an' in no danger iv a cold on th' chist, they'll prance away.
An' whin they get to th' city iv Peking a fine cillybration is planned
be th' mission'ries. I see th' programme in th' pa-aper: First day, 10
A.M., prayers be th' allied mission'ries; 1 P.M., massacree iv the
impress an' rile fam'ly; sicond day, 10 A.M., scatthrin' iv remains iv
former kings; 11 A.M., disecration iv graves gin'rally; 2 P.M.,
massacree iv all gin'rals an' coort officials; third day, 12 noon,
burnin' iv Peking; foorth day, gran' pop'lar massacree an' division iv
territ'ry, th' cillybration to close with a rough-an'-tumble fight among
th' allies."
"'Twill be a gr-reat occasion, Hinnissy, an' be-dad I'd like to be there
to see it. Ye can't go too sthrong again' th' Chinee. Me frind th'
impror iv Germany put it right. 'Brave boys,' says he, 'ye ar-re goin'
out now,' he says, 'f'r to carry th' light iv Christyanity,' he says,
'an' th' teachin's iv th' German Michael,' he says, 'to th' benighted
haythen beyant,' he says.


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