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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

'Me an' Mike is watchin' ye' he says, 'an' we
ixpict ye to do ye'er duty,' he says. 'Through you,' he says, 'I propose
to smash th' vile Chinee with me mailed fist,' he says. 'This is no six-
ounce glove fight, but demands a lunch-hook done up in eight-inch armor
plate,' he says. 'Whin ye get among th' Chinee,' he says, 'raymimber
that ye ar-re the van guard iv Christyanity,' he says, 'an' stick ye'er
baynet through ivry hated infidel ye see,' he says. 'Lave thim
undherstand what our westhren civilization means,' he says, 'an' prod
thim good an' hard,' he says. 'Open their heads with ye'er good German
swords to Eu-ropyan culture an' refinement,' he says. 'Spare no man that
wears a pigtail,' he says. 'An,' he says, 'me an' th' German Michael
will smile on ye as ye kick th' linin' out iv th' dhragon an' plant on
th' walls iv Peking th' banner,' he says, 'iv th' cross, an',' he says,
'th' double cross,' he says. 'An' if be chance ye shud pick up a little
land be th' way, don't lave e'er a Frinchman or Rooshan take it fr'm ye,
or ye'll feel me specyal delivery hand on th' back iv ye'er neck in a
way that'll do ye no kind iv good. Hock German Michael,' he says, 'hock
me gran'father, hoch th' penny postage fist,' he says, 'hock mesilf,' he
says.


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