"
"Anyhow, Lafferty, that was his sicrety, come in, an' says he: 'What are
ye doin' there?' says he. 'Step soft,' says I; 'I am at wurruk,' I says.
'Ye shudden't do lithry wurruk on an empty stomach,' says he. 'I do
nawthin' on an empty stomach but eat,' says I. 'I've had me supper,' I
says. 'Go 'way,' says I, 'till I finish th' platform,' I says. 'What's
th' platform?' says he.'F'r th' county con-vintion,' says I.
"Well, sir, he set down on a chair, an' I thought th' man was goin' to
die right there on the premises with laughter. 'Whin ye get through with
ye'er barkin',' says I, 'I'll throuble ye to tell me what ye may be
doin' it f'r,' I says. 'I see nawthin' amusin' here but ye'er prisince,'
I says, 'an' that's not a divvle iv a lot funnier than a wooden leg,' I
says, f'r I was mad. Afther awhile he come to, an' says he: 'Ye don't
raally think,' says he, 'that ye'll get a chanct to spring that
platform,' he says. 'I do,' says I. 'Why,' he says, 'the platform has
been adopted,' he says. 'Whin?' says I. 'Befure ye were born,' says he.
'In th' reign iv Bildad th' first,' says he--he was a larned man, was
Lafferty, though a dhrinkin' man. All sicreties iv pollyticians not in
office is dhrinkin' men, Hinnissy. 'Ive got th' copy iv it here in me
pocket,' he says.
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