"A Mormon, Hinnissy, is a man that has th' bad taste an' th' rellijion
to do what a good manny other men ar-re restrained fr'm doin' be
conscientious scruples an' th' polis. I don't want anny wife; ye,
Hinnissy, ar-re satisfied, not to say con-tint, with wan; another la-ad
feels that he'd be lonesome without tin. 'Tis a matther iv disposition.
If iver I got started th' Lord on'y knows where I'd bring up. I might be
like me frind an' fellow-sultan, Hadji Mohammed. Hadji has wives to
burn, an' wanst in awhile he bur-rns wan. He has a betther job thin
Congressman."
"Th' best a congressman can get is foorth-class postmasther an' a look
in at th' White House on visitin' day. But Hadji, th' pop'lar an'
iloquent sultan iv Sulu an' Bazeen iv th' Ohio iv th' Passyfic, owns his
own palace an' disthributes his own jobs. No man can hold th' office iv
bow-sthringer iv our impeeryal domain without a certy-ficate fr'm Hadji.
From th' highest office in th' land to th' lowest, fr'm th' chief
pizener to th' throne, to th' humblest ixicutioner that puts a lady in a
bag an' dumps her into th' lake in th' Nine Millionth Assimbly district
they look to Hadji Mohammed f'r their places. He is th' High Guy, th'
Main Thing. He's ivrybody. When he quits wurrk th' governmint is over
f'r th' day.
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