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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

Whin he's in th' middle iv
a prim'ry, with maybe twinty or thirty iv th' opposite party on top iv
him, thinks he to himsilf: 'What's th' good iv fightin' f'r a job?
They'se no wan depindant on me f'r support,' an' he surrinders. But a
marrid man says: 'What'll happen to me wife an' twelve small childher if
I don't win out here today?' an' he bites his way to th' top iv th' pile
an' breaks open th' ballot box f'r home and fireside. That's th' thruth
iv it, Hinnissy. Ye'll find all th' big jobs held be marrid men an' all
th' timpry clerkships be bachelors."
"Th' reason th' New York jood thinks marrid men oughtn't to be in
pollytics is because he thinks pollytics is spoort. An' so it is. But it
ain't amachoor spoort, Hinnissy. They don't give ye a pewter mug with
ye'er name on it f'r takin' a chanst on bein' kilt. 'Tis a profissional
spoort, like playin' base-ball f'r a livin' or wheelin' a thruck. Ye
niver see an amachoor at annything that was as good as a profissional.
Th' best amachoor ball team is beat be a bad profissional team; a
profissional boxer that thrains on bock beer an' Swiss cheese can lam
the head off a goold medal amachoor champeen that's been atin' moldy
bread an' dhrinkin' wather f'r six months, an' th' Dago that blows th'
cornet on th' sthreet f'r what annywan 'll throw him can cut the figure
eight around Dinnis Finn, that's been takin' lessons f'r twinty year.


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