It makes some men talk like good women,
an' some women talk like bad men. It is a livin' f'r orators an' th'
death iv bookkeepers. It doesn't sustain life, but, whin taken hot with
wather, a lump iv sugar, a piece iv lemon peel, and just th' dustin' iv
a nutmeg-grater, it makes life sustainable."
"D'ye think ye-ersilf it sustains life"? asked Mr. Hennessy.
"It has sustained mine f'r many years," said Mr. Dooley.
HIGH FINANCE
"I think," said Mr. Dooley, "I'll go down to th' stock yards an' buy a
dhrove iv Steel an' Wire stock."
"Where wud ye keep it?" asked the unsuspecting Hennessy.
"I'll put it out on th' vacant lot," said Mr. Dooley, "an' lave it grow
fat by atin' ol' bur-rd cages an' tin cans. I'll milk it hard, an' whin
'tis dhry I'll dispose iv it to th' widdies an' orphans iv th' Sixth
Ward that need household pets. Be hivins, if they give me half a chanst,
I'll be as gr-reat a fi-nanceer as anny man in Wall sthreet.
"Th' reason I'm so confident iv th' value iv Steel an' Wire stock,
Hinnissy, is they're goin' to hur-rl th' chairman iv th' comity into
jail. That's what th' pa-apers calls a ray iv hope in th' clouds iv
dipression that've covered th' market so long. 'Tis always a bull
argymint. 'Snowplows common was up two pints this mornin' on th' rumor
that th' prisidint was undher ar-rest.
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