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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

' 'They was a gr-reat bulge in
Lobster preferred caused be th' report that instead iv declarin' a
dividend iv three hundhred per cint. th' comp'ny was preparin' to
imprison th' boord iv directors.' 'We sthrongly ricommind th' purchase
iv Con and Founder. This comp'ny is in ixcillint condition since th'
hangin' iv th' comity on reorganization.'"
"What's th' la-ad been doin', Hinnissy? He's been lettin' his frinds in
on th' groun' flure--an' dhroppin' thim into th' cellar. Ye know
Cassidy, over in th' Fifth, him that was in th' ligislachure? Well, sir,
he was a gr-reat frind iv this man. They met down in Springfield whin
th' la-ad had something he wanted to get through that wud protect th'
widdies an' orphans iv th' counthry again their own avarice, an' he
must've handed Cassidy a good argymint, f'r Cassidy voted f'r th' bill,
though threatened with lynchin' be stockholders iv th' rival comp'ny. He
come back here so covered with dimons that wan night whin he was
standin' on th' rollin' mill dock, th' captain iv th' Eliza Brown
mistook his shirt front f'r th' bridge lights an' steered into a soap
facthry on th' lee or gas-house shore."
"Th' man made a sthrong impression on Cassidy. 'Twas: 'As me frind Jawn
says,' or 'I'll ask Jawn about that,' or 'I'm goin' downtown to-day to
find out what Jawn advises.


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