They'll be all
th' wondhers iv modhern science. Ye can see how shirts ar-re made, an'
what gives life to th' sody fountain. Th' man that makes th' glue that
binds 'll be wearin' more medals thin an officer iv th' English ar-rmy
or a cinchry bicycle rider, an' years afther whin ye see a box iv soap
ye'll think iv th' manufacthrer standin' up befure a hundhred thousan'
frinzied Fr-rinchmen in th' Boss du Boloney while th' prisidint iv th'
Fr-rinch places a goold wreath on his fair brow an' says: 'In th' name
iv th' ar-rts an' science, undher th' motto iv our people, "Libertinity,
insanity, an' frugality," I crown ye th' champeen soapmaker iv th'
wurruld. [Cheers.] Be ye'er magnificint invintion ye have dhrawn closer
th' ties between Paris an' Goshen, Indyanny [frantic applause], which I
hope will niver be washed away. I wish ye much success as ye climb th'
lather iv fame.' Th' invintor is thin dhrawn ar-roun' th' sthreets iv
Paris in a chariot pulled be eight white horses amid cries iv 'Veev
Higgins,' 'Abase Castile,' et cethra, fr'm th' populace. An' manny a
heart beats proud in Goshen that night. That's th' way ye think iv it,
but it happens diff'rent, Hinnissy. Th' soap king, th' prune king, an'
th' porous plaster king fr'm here won't stir up anny tumult in Paris
this year.
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