'Instead iv chroniclin' th' ruffyanism
iv these misguided wretches that weigh in at th' ringside at 125 poun's,
an' I see in a pa-aper I r-read in a barber shop th' other day that
Spike's gone away back--what's that I'm sayin'? Niver mind. D'ye go down
to th' home iv th' Rivrind Aloysius Augustus Morninbinch an'interview
him on th' question iv man's co-operation with grace in conversion. Make
a nice chatty article about it an' I'll give ye a copy iv wan iv me
books.' 'I will,' says th' la-ad, 'if he don't swing on me,' he says.
The editor thin addhressed th' staff. 'Gintlemen,' he says, 'I find that
th' wurruk ye've been accustomed to doin',' he says, 'is calc'lated f'r
to disthroy th' morality an' debase th' home life iv Topeka, not to
mintion th' surroundin' methrolopuses iv Valencia, Wanamaker, Sugar
Works, Paxico an' Snokomo,' he says. 'Th' newspaper, instead iv bein' a
pow'rful agent f'r th' salvation iv mankind, has become something that
they want to r-read,' he says. 'Ye can all go home,' he says. 'I'll stay
here an' write th' paper mesilf,' he says. 'I'm th' best writer ar-round
here, annyhow, an' I'll give thim something that'll prepare thim f'r
death,' he says.
"An' he did, Hinnissy, he did. 'Twas a gran' paper. They was an article
on sewerage an' wan on prayin' f'r rain, an' another on muni-cipal
ownership iv gas tanks, an' wan to show that they niver was a good
milker ownded be a pro-fane man.
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