A rellijious newspaper? None iv thim f'r me.
I want to know what's goin' on among th' murdher an' burglary set. Did
ye r-read it?' he says. 'I did,' says I. 'What did ye think iv it?' says
he. 'I know,' says I, 'why more people don't go to church,' says I."
THE ADMIRAL'S CANDIDACY
"I see," said Mr. Hennessy, "that Dewey is a candydate f'r prisidint."
"Well, sir" said Mr. Dooley, "I hope to hiven he won't get it. No
rilitive iv mine iver held a pollytical job barrin' mesilf. I was
precint captain, an' wan iv th' best they was in thim days, if I do say
so that shudden't. I was called Cap f'r manny years aftherward, an'
I'd've joined th' Gr-rand Army iv th' Raypublic if it hadn't been f'r me
poor feet. Manny iv me rilitives has been candydates, but they niver cud
win out again th' r-rest iv th' fam'ly. 'Tis so with Cousin George. I'm
again him. I've been a rayspictable saloon-keeper f'r forty years in
this ward, an' I'll not have th' name dhragged into pollytics."
"Iv coorse, I don't blame Cousin George. I'm with him f'r annything else
in th' gift iv th' people, fr'm a lovin'-cup to a house an' lot. He
don't mean annything be it. Did ye iver see a sailor thryin' to ride a
horse? 'Tis a comical sight. Th' reason a sailor thries to ride a horse
is because he niver r-rode wan befure.
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