I haven't seen manny papers since I've been at
sea, but whin I was a boy me father used to take the Montpelier
Paleejum. 'Twas r-run be a man be th' name iv Horse Clamback. He was
quite a man whin sober. Ye've heerd iv him, no doubt. But what I ast ye
up here f'r was to give ye a item that ye can write up in ye'er own way
an' hand to th' r-rest iv th' boys. I'm goin' to be prisidint. I like
th' looks iv the job an' nobody seems to care f'r it, an' I've got so
blame tired since I left th' ship that if I don't have somethin' to do
I'll go crazy,' he says. 'I wisht ye'd make a note iv it an' give it to
th' other papers,' he says. 'Ar-re ye a raypublican or a dimmycrat"?'
says the rayporter. 'What's that?' says Cousin George. 'D'ye belong to
th' raypublican or th' dimmycrat party?' 'What ar-re they like?' says
Cousin George. 'Th' raypublicans ar-re in favor iv expansion.' 'Thin I'm
a raypublican.' 'Th' dim-mycrats ar-re in favor iv free thrade.' 'Thin
I'm a dimmycrat.' 'Th' raypublicans ar-re f'r upholdin' th' goold
standard.' 'So'm I. I'm a raypublican there.' 'An' they're opposed to an
income tax.' 'On that,' says Cousin George, 'I'm a dimmycrat. I tell ye,
put me down as a dimmycrat. Divvle th' bit I care. Just say I'm a
dimmycrat with sthrong raypublican leanings.
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