Who
was the prisidint befure Mack? Oh, tubby sure!"
CUSTOMS OF KENTUCKY
"Well, sir," said Mr. Dooley, "'tis good to see that th' gloryous ol'
commonwealth iv Kentucky is itsilf again."
"How's that?" asked Mr. Hennessy.
"F'r some time past," said Mr. Dooley, "they's been nawthin' doin'
that'd make a meetin' iv th' Epworth League inthrestin'. Th' bystanders
in Kentucky has been as safe as a journeyman highwayman in Chicago.
Perfectly innocent an' unarmed men wint into th' state an' come out
again without a bullethole in their backs. It looked f'r awhile as if
th' life iv th' ordn'ry visitor was goin' to be as harmless in Kentucky
as in Utah, th' home iv th' desthroyers iv American domestic life. I
dinnaw why it was, whether it was th' influence iv our new citizens in
Cubia an' th' Ph'lippeens or what it was, but annyhow th' on'y news that
come out iv Kentucky was as peaceful, Hinnissy, as th' rayports iv a
bloody battle in South Africa. But Kentucky, as Hogan says, was not dead
but on'y sleepin'. Th' other day that gran' ol' state woke up through
two iv its foremost rapid firin' citizens."
"They met be chanst in a hotel con-tagious to a bar. Colonel Derringer
was settin' in a chair peacefully fixin' th' hammer iv his forty-four
Colt gun, presinted to him be his constitooents on th' occasion iv his
mim'rable speech on th' nicissity iv spreadin' th' civilization iv th'
United States to th' ends iv th' wur-ruld.
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