That is, Hinnissy, they begun shootin' at th'
bystanders. I'll tell ye what th' pa-apers said about it. Th' two
antagonists was in perfect form an' well sustained th' reputation iv th'
state f'r acc'rate workmanship. Colonel Derringer's first shot caught a
boot an' shoe drummer fr'm Chicago square in th' back amid consid'rable
applause. Major Lyddite tied th' scoor be nailin' a scrubwoman on th'
top iv a ladder. Th' man at th' traps sprung a bell boy whom th' Colonel
on'y winged, thus goin' back wan, but his second barrel brought down a
book-canvasser fr'm New York, an' this bein' a Jew man sint him ahead
three. Th' Major had an aisy wan f'r th' head waiter, nailin' him just
as he jumped into a coal hole. Four all. Th' Colonel thried a difficult
polisman, lamin' him. Thin th' Major turned his attintion to his own
frinds, an' made three twos in succession. Th' Colonel was not so
forch'nate. He caught Major Bullseye an' Captain Wiggins, but Gin'ral
Rangefinder was safe behind a barber's pole an' Colonel Chivvy fluttered
out iv range. Thus th' scoor was tin to six at th' conclusion iv th'
day's spoort in favor iv Major Lyddite. Unforchnately th' gallant Major
was onable f'r to reap th' reward iv his excellent marksmanship, f'r in
a vain indeavor f'r a large scoor, he chased th' barber iv th' sicond
chair into th' street, an' there slippin' on a banana peel, fell an'
sustained injuries fr'm which he subsequently died.
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