In him th' counthry
loses a valu'ble an' acc'rate citizen, th' state a lile an' rapid firin'
son, an' society a leadin' figure, his meat-market an' grocery bein' wan
iv th' largest outside iv Minerva. Some idee iv th' acc'racy iv th' fire
can be gained fr'm th' detailed scoor, as follows: Lyddite, three
hearts, wan lung, wan kidney, five brains. Derringer, four hearts, two
brains. This has seldom been excelled. Among th' minor casualties
resultin' fr'm this painful but delightful soiree was th' followin':
Erastus Haitch Muggins, kilt be jumpin' fr'm th' roof; Blank Cassidy,
hide an' pelt salesman fr'm Chicago, burrid undher victims; Captain
Epaminondas Lucius Quintus Cassius Marcellus Xerxes Cyrus Bangs of
Hoganpolis, Hamilcar Township, Butseen County, died iv hear-rt disease
whin his scoor was tied. Th' las' named was a prominent leader in
society, a crack shot an' a gintleman iv th' ol' school without fear an'
without reproach. His son succeeds to his lunch car. Th' others don't
count."
"'Twas a gr-reat day f'r Kentucky, Hinnissy, an' it puts th' gran' ol'
state two or three notches ahead iv anny sim'lar community in th' wur-
ruld. Talk about th' Boer war an' th' campaign in th' Ph'lippeens! Whin
Kentucky begins f'r to shoot up her fav'rite sons they'll be more blood
spilled thin thim two play wars'd spill between now an' th' time whin
Ladysmith's relieved f'r th' las' time an' Agynaldoo is r-run up a three
in th' outermost corner iv Hoar County, state iv Luzon.
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