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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

"
"Well, now, ye'd think that was all right, wudden't ye? Ye'd say Asthor
acted mild whin he didn't take down his goold ice pick from th' wall an'
bate th' Cap over th' head. Th' Cap, though a ganial soul, had no
business there. 'Twas Willum Waldorf Asthor that paid f'r the ice cream
an' rented th' chiny. But that's where ye'd be wrong, an' that's where I
was wrong. Whin th' Prince iv Wales heerd iv it he was furyous. 'What,'
he says, 'is an English gintleman goin' to be pegged out iv dures be a
mere American be descent?' he says. 'A man,' he says, 'that hasn't an
entail to his name,' he says. 'An American's home in London is an
Englishman's castle,' he says. 'As th' late Earl iv Pitt said, th'
furniture may go out iv it, th' constable may enther, th' mortgage may
fall on th' rooned roof, but a thrue Englishman'll niver leave,' he
says, 'while they'se food an' dhrink,' he says. 'Willum Waldorf Asthor
has busted th' laws iv hospitality, an' made a monkey iv a lile subjick
iv th' queen,' he says. 'Hinceforth,' he says, 'he's ast to no picnics
iv th' Buckingham Palace Chowder Club,' he says. An' th' nex' day Willum
Waldorf Asthor met him at th' races where he was puttin' down a bit iv
money an' spoke to him, an' th' Prince iv Wales gave him wan in th' eye.


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