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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

"
"It's vanity that makes arnychists, Hinnissy--vanity an' th' habits
kings has nowadays iv bein' as common as life insurance agents."
"I don't like kings," said Mr. Hennessy, "but I like arnychists less.
They ought to be kilt off as fast as they're caught."
"They'll be that," said Mr. Dooley. "But killin' thim is like wringin'
th' neck iv a mickrobe."


ANGLO-AMERICAN SPORTS

"Hinnissy, if iver we have war with what me frind Carl Schurz'd call th'
Mother County, it'll not come fr'm anny Vinnyzwalan question. Ye can't
get me excited over th' throbbin' debate on th' location iv th' Orynocoo
River or whether th' miners that go to Alaska f'r goold ar're buried be
th' Canajeen or th' American authorities. Ye bet ye can't. But some day
we'll be beat in a yacht r-race or done up at futball an' thin what
Hogan call th' dogs iv war'll break out iv th' kennel an' divastate th'
wurruld."
"Well," said Mr. Hennessy, complacently, "if we wait f'r that we might
as well disband our navy."
"I dinnaw about that," said Mr. Dooley, "I dinnaw abut that; afther ye
left to investigate th' ir'n foundhries an' other pitcheresque roons iv
this misguided counthry, I wint out to give a few raw rahs f'r me fellow
colleejens, who was attimptin' to dimonsthrate their supeeryority over
th' effete scholars iv England at what I see be th' pa-apers is called
th' Olympian games.


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