'Be careful what ye're doin' there,' says th' Anglo-Saxon. 'If
it wasn't f'r th' 'liance I'd punch ye'er head off,' he says. 'An','
says th' ca'm Englishman, 'if it wasn't f'r our common hurtage,' he
says, 'I'd make ye jump over th' gran' stand,' he says. 'Th' English
always cud beat us r-runnin',' says the sage iv Matsachoosetts. 'Th'
Americans start first an' finishes last,' says th' Englishman. An' I had
to pull thim apart."
"Whether it is that our American colleejans spinds too much iv their
lung power in provin' their devotion to what Hogan calls their Almy
Matthers or not, I dinnaw, but annyhow, we had to dhrag th'
riprisintative iv our branch iv th' Anglo-Saxon an' Boheemyan
civilization in th' three-mile race fr'm undher two thousand iv our
cousins or brothers-in-law that was ca'mly an' soberly, but hurridly an'
noisily chargin' acrost th' thrack to cheer their own man."
"Me frind fr'm Matsachoosets was blue as we winded our way to th'
sthrangulation railway an' started back f'r home. 'I'm sorry,' he says,
'to lose me timper,' he says, 'but,' he says, 'afther all th' pretinded
affection iv these people f'r us,' he says, 'an' afther all we've done
f'r thim in Alaska an'--an' ivrywhere,' he says, 'an' thim sellin' us
coal whin they might've sold it to th' Spanyards if th' Spanyards'd had
th' money,' he says, 'to see th' conduct iv that coarse an' brutal
Englishman--' 'Th' wan that won th' r-race?' says I.
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