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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"


Hennessy.
"Right ye ar-re, I forgot," Mr. Dooley went on. "Well, thim were his own
wurruds. He was young an' he wanted something an' he spoke up. He'd been
a rayporther on a newspaper an' he'd rather be prisidint thin write anny
longer f'r th' pa-aper, an' he made th' whole iv th' piece out iv his
own head.
"But nowadays he has tin wurruds f'r Thomas Jefferson an' th' rest iv
th' sage crop to wan f'r himsilf. 'Fellow-dimmycrats,' he says, 'befure
goin' anny farther, an' maybe farin' worse, I reluctantly accipt th'
nommynation f'r prisidint that I have caused ye to offer me,' he says,
'an' good luck to me,' he says. 'Seein' th' counthry in th' condition it
is,' he says, 'I cannot rayfuse,' he says. 'I will now lave a subject
that must be disagreeable to manny iv ye an' speak a few wurruds fr'm
th' fathers iv th' party, iv whom there ar-re manny,' he says, 'though
no shame to th' party, f'r all iv that,' he says. 'Thomas Jefferson, th'
sage iv Monticello, says: "Ye can't make a silk purse out iv a sow's
ear," a remark that will at wanst recall th' sayin' iv Binjamin
Franklin, th' sage iv Camden, that "th' fartherest way ar-round is th'
shortest way acrost." Nawthin' cud be thruer thin that onliss it is th'
ipygram iv Andhrew Jackson, th' sage iv Syr-acuse, that "a bur-rd in th'
hand is worth two in th' bush.


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