"
"'How does it go?' says Thomas. 'Well,' says I, 'it looks as though
Ioway was sure raypublican,' says I. 'Ioway?' says he. 'What's that?'
says he. 'Ioway,' says I, 'is a state,' says I. 'I niver heerd iv it,'
says he. 'Faith ye did not,' says I. 'But it's a state just th' same,
an' full iv corn an' people,' I says. 'An' why is it raypublican?' says
he. 'Because,' says I, 'th' people out there is f'r holdin' th'
Ph'lippeens,' says I. 'What th' divvle ar-re th' Ph'lippeens?' says he.
'Is it a festival,' says he, 'or a dhrink?' he says. 'Faith, 'tis small
wondher ye don't know,' says I, 'f'r 'tis mesilf was weak on it a year
ago,' I says. 'Th' Ph'lippeens is an issue,' says I, 'an' islands,' says
I, 'an' a public nuisance,' I says. 'But,' I says, 'befure we go anny
further on this subject,' I says, 'd'ye know where Minnysota is, or
Westconsin, or Utah, or Californya, or Texas, or Neebrasky?' says I. 'I
do not,' says he. 'D'ye know that since ye'er death there has growed up
on th' shore iv Lake Mitchigan a city that wud make Rome look like a
whistlin' station--a city that has a popylation iv eight million people
till th' census rayport comes out?' I says. 'I niver heerd iv it,' he
says. 'D'ye know that I can cross th' ocean in six days, an' won't; that
if annything doesn't happen in Chiny I can larn about it in twinty-four
hours if I care to know; that if ye was in Wash'nton I cud call ye up be
tillyphone an ye'er wire'd be busy?' I says.
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