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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

I'm still with it, but not sthrong. It's
movin' too fast f'r me. But no matther. Annyhow I was f'r makin' th'
black man free, an' though I shtud be th' south as a spoortin'
proposition I was kind iv glad in me heart whin Gin'ral Ulyss S. Grant
bate Gin'ral Lee an' th' rest iv th' Union officers captured Jeff Davis.
I says to mesilf, 'Now,' I says,'th' coon'll have a chanst f'r his
life,' says I, 'an' in due time we may injye him,' I says.
"An' sure enough it looked good f'r awhile, an' th' time come whin th'
occas'nal dollar bill that wint acrost this bar on pay night wasn't good
money onless it had th' name iv th' naygur on it. In thim days they was
a young la-ad--a frind iv wan iv th' Donohue boys--that wint to th'
public school up beyant, an' he was as bright a la-ad as ye'd want to
see in a day's walk. Th' larnin' iv him wud sind Father Kelly back to
his grammar. He cud spell to make a hare iv th' hedge schoolmasther, he
was as quick at figures as th' iddycated pig they showed in th' tint
las' week in Haley's vacant lot, and in joggerphy, asthronomy,
algybbera, jommethry, chimisthry, physiojnomy, bassoophly an' fractions,
I was often har-rd put mesilf to puzzle him. I heerd him gradyooate an'
his composition was so fine very few cud make out what he meant.


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