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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

Th' 'Constitution iv th' United States' (a farce)
be Willum McKinley is r-runnin' to packed houses with th' cillybrated
thradeejan Aggynaldoo as th' villain. In th' sixteenth scene iv th' last
act they'se a naygur lynchin'. James H. Wilson, th' author iv 'Silo an'
Ensilage, a story f'r boys,' is dhramatizin' his cillybrated wurruk an'
will follow it with a dhramatic version iv 'Sugar Beet Culture,' a farm
play. 'Th' Familiar Lies iv Li Hung Chang' is expicted to do well in th'
provinces an' Hostetter's Almanac has all dates filled, I undherstand
th' bible'll be r-ready f'r th' stage undher th'direction iv Einstein
an' Opperman befure th' first iv th' year. Some changes has been
niciss'ry f'r to adapt it to stage purposes, I see be th' pa-apers. Th'
authors has become convinced that Adam an' Eve must be carrid through
th' whole play, so they have considerably lessened th' time between th'
creation an' th' flood an' have made Adam an English nobleman with a
shady past an' th' Divvle a Fr-rinch count in love with Eve. They're
rescued be Noah, th' faithful boatman who has a comic naygur son."
"I see be th' pa-aper th' stage is goin' to th' dogs what with it's
Sappho's an' th' like iv that," said Mr. Hennessy.
"Well, it isn't what it used to be," said Mr.


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