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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

A dillygation iv Mormons has started fr'm dimmycratic
headquarthers to thank Mack f'r his manly stand in favor iv poly-gamy
an' th' raypublican comity has undher con-sideration a letther fr'm long
term criminals advisin' their colleagues at large to vote f'r Willum
Jennings Bryan, th' frind iv crime."
"In a few short weeks, Hinnissy, 'twill not be safe f'r ayether iv
the candydates to come out on th' fr-ront porch till th' waitin'
dillygations has been searched be a polisman. 'Tis th' divvle's own time
th' la-ads that r-runs f'r th' prisidincy has since that ol' boy
Burchard broke loose again' James G. Blaine. Sinitor Jones calls wan iv
his thrusty hinchman to his side, an' says he: 'Mike, put on a pig-tail,
an' a blue shirt an' take a dillygation iv Chinnymen out to Canton an'
congratulate Mack on th' murdher iv mission'ries in China. An',' he
says, 'ye might stop off at Cincinnati on th' way over an' arrange f'r a
McKinley an' Rosenfelt club to ilict th' British Consul its prisidint
an' attack th' office iv th' German newspaper,' he says. Mark Hanna
rings f'r his sicrety an', says he: 'Have ye got off th' letther fr'm
George Fred Willums advisin' Aggynaldoo to pizen th' wells?' 'Yes sir.'
'An' th' secret communication fr'm Bryan found on an arnychist at
Pattherson askin' him to blow up th' White House?' 'It's in th' hands iv
th' tyepwriter.


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