' 'Thin call up an employmint agency an' have a
dillygation iv Jesuites dhrop in at Lincoln, with a message fr'm th'
pope proposin' to bur-rn all Protestant churches th' night befure
iliction.'"
"I tell ye, Hinnissy, th' candydate is kept mov-in'. Whin he sees a
dilly-gation pikin' up th' lawn he must be r-ready. He makes a flyin'
leap f'r th' chairman, seizes him by th' throat an' says: 'I thank ye
f'r th' kind sintimints ye have conveyed. I am, indeed, as ye have
remarked, th' riprisintative iv th' party iv manhood, honor, courage,
liberality an' American thraditions. Take that back to Jimmy Jones an'
tell him to put it in his pipe an' smoke it.' With which he bounds into
th' house an' locks the dure while th' baffled conspirators goes down to
a costumer an' changes their disguise. If th' future prisidint hadn't
been quick on th' dhraw he'd been committed to a policy iv sthranglin'
all the girl babies at birth."
"No,'tis no aisy job bein' a candydate, an' 'twud be no easy job if th'
game iv photygraphs was th' on'y wan th' candydates had to play. Willum
Jennings Bryan is photygraphed smilin' back at his smilin' corn fields,
in a pair iv blue overalls with a scythe in his hand borrid fr'm th'
company that's playin' 'Th' Ol' Homestead,' at th' Lincoln Gran' Opry
House.
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