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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

Th' nex' day Mack is seen mendin' a rustic chair with a monkey
wrinch, Bryan has a pitcher took in th' act iv puttin' on a shirt marked
with th' union label, an' they'se another photygraph iv Mack carryin' a
scuttle iv coal up th' cellar stairs. An' did ye iver notice how much
th' candydates looks alike, an' how much both iv thim looks like Lydia
Pinkham? Thim wondherful boardhin'-house smiles that our gifted leaders
wears, did ye iver see annythin' so entrancin'? Whin th' las'
photygrapher has packed his ar-ms homeward I can see th' gr-reat men
retirin' to their rooms an' lettin' their faces down f'r a few minyits
befure puttin' thim up again in curl-pa-apers f'r th' nex' day display.
Glory be, what a relief 'twill be f'r wan iv thim to raysume permanently
th' savage or fam'ly breakfast face th' mornin' afther iliction! What a
raylief 'twill be to no f'r sure that th' man at th' dure bell is on'y
th' gas collector an' isn't loaded with a speech iv thanks in behalf iv
th' Spanish Gover'mint! What a relief to snarl at wife an' frinds wanst
more, to smoke a seegar with th' thrust magnate that owns th' cider
facthry near th' station, to take ye'er nap in th' afthernoon
undisthurbed be th' chirp iv th' snap-shot! 'Tis th' day afther iliction
I'd like f'r to be a candydate, Hinnissy, no matther how it wint.


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