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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

"
"An' what's become iv th' vice-prisidintial candydates?" Mr. Hennessy
asked.
"Well," said Mr. Dooley, "Th' las' I heerd iv Adly, I didn't hear
annythin', an' th' las' I heerd iv Tiddy he'd made application to th'
naytional comity f'r th' use iv Mack as a soundin' board."


A BACHELOR'S LIFE

"It's always been a wondher to me," said Mr. Hennessy, "ye niver
marrid."
"It's been a wondher to manny," Mr. Dooley replied haughtily. "Maybe if
I'd been as aisy pleased as most--an' this is not sayin' annything again
you an' ye'ers, Hinnisy, f'r ye got much th' best iv it--I might be th'
father iv happy childher an' have money in th' bank awaitin' th' day
whin th' intherest on th' morgedge fell due. 'Tis not f'r lack iv
opportunities I'm here alone, I tell ye that me bucko, f'r th' time was
whin th' sound iv me feet'd brings more heads to th' windies iv Ar-rchey
r-road thin'd bob up to see ye'er fun'ral go by. An' that's manny a
wan."
"Ah, well," said Mr. Hennessy, "I was but jokin' ye." His tone mollified
his friend, who went on: "To tell ye th' truth, Hinnissy, th' raison I
niver got marrid was I niver cud pick a choice. I've th' makin' iv an
ixcillint ol' Turk in me, to be sure, f'r I look on all the sect as
iligeable f'r me hand an' I'm on'y resthrained fr'm r-rentin' Lincoln
Park f'r a home an' askin' thim all to clave on'y to me, be me nachral
modesty an' th' laws iv th' State iv Illinye.


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