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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

Th' young
ladies has been ask in' me ar-re ye dead.' I was th' pop'lar idol, ye
might say, an' manny's th' black look I got over th' shouldher at picnic
an' wake. But I minded thim little. If a bull again me come fr'm th'
pope himsilf in thim days whin me heart was high, I'd tuck it in me
pocket an' say: 'I'll r-read it whin I get time.'"
"Well, I'd take one iv th' girls out in me horse an' buggy iv a Sundah
an' I'd think she was th' finest in th' wurruld an' I'd be sayin' all
kinds iv jokin' things to her about marredge licenses bein' marked down
on account iv th' poor demand an' how th' parish priest was thinkin' iv
bein' thransferred to a parish where th' folks was more kindly disposed
to each other an' th' likes iv that, whin out iv th' corner iv me eye
I'd see another girl go by, an' bless me if I cud keep th' lid iv me r-
right eye still or hold me tongue fr'm such unfortchnit remark as: 'That
there Molly Heaney's th' fine girl, th' fine, sthrappin' girl, don't ye
think so?' Well, ye know, afther that I might as well be dhrivin' an ice
wagon as a pleasure rig; more thin wanst I near lost th' tip iv me nose
in th' jamb iv th' dure thryin' to give an affictshionate farewell. An'
so it wint on, till I got th' repytation iv a flirt an' a philandhrer
f'r no raison at all, d'ye mind, but me widespread fondness.


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