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Dunne, Finley Peter, 1867-1936

"Mr. Dooley's Philosophy"

So Clancy's gettin' r-rich an' puttin' a
coopoly on his house."
"But with me 'tis diff'rent. Whin Phibbius Apollo as Hogan calls th'
sun, raises his head above th' gas house, I'm cuddled up in me couch an'
Morpus, gawd iv sleep, has a sthrangle holt on me. Th' alarm clock
begins to go off an' I've just sthrength enough to raise up an' fire it
through th' window. Two hours aftherward I have a gleam iv human
intillygince an' hook me watch out fr'm undher th' pillow. 'It's eight
o'clock,' says I. 'But is it eight in th' mornin' or eight in th'
evenin'?' says I. 'Faith, I dinnaw, an' divvle a bit care I. Eight's
on'y a number,' says I. 'It riprisints nawthin',' says I."
"They'se hours enough in th' day f'r a free man. I'll turr-n over an'
sleep till eight-wan and thin I'll wake up refrished,' I says. 'Tis
ilivin o'clock whin me tired lids part f'r good an' Casey has been here
to pay me eight dollars an' findin' me not up has gone away f'r another
year."
"A marrid man gets th' money, Hinnissy, but a bachelor man gets th'
sleep. Whin all me marrid frinds is off to wurruk pound in' th'
ongrateful sand an' wheelin' th' rebellyous slag, in th' heat iv th'
afthernoon, ye can see ye'er onfortchnit bachelor frind perambulatin' up
an' down th' shady side iv th' sthreet, with an umbrelly over his head
an' a wurrud iv cheer fr'm young an' old to enliven his loneliness.


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