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Various

"Punch, or the London Charivari, Volume 152, January 10, 1917"


_Porter_ (who has been quietly undoing the straps_). Is it locked, mum?
_Lady Traveller_ (_producing key and almost in tears_). It's too bad.
[_She dives into box and extracts two pairs of boots wrapped in
newspapers._
_Porter_ (_taking them and weighing them judiciously in his hands_). That's
all right, mum.
[_He pushes box on to weighing machine which registers under 100 lbs._
_Lady Traveller_. They're very thick boots, of course. Whatever am I to do
with them now?
_Her Friend_. We shall have to carry them. [_Takes one parcel._
_Lady Traveller_. Jane shall hear of this. I told her never to use
newspaper for packing.
_Her Friend_ (_suddenly_). There's Major Merriman.
_Lady Traveller_. So it is. Don't let him see us with these dreadful
parcels. (_Angrily_) Why don't you turn round? He'll see you.
_Major Merriman_. How do you do?
_Lady Traveller_ (_in great surprise_). Oh, how do you do, Major Merriman?
We've been having such an amusing experience, etc., etc.
* * * * *
What made Lord Devonport Dizzy.
"The following resolution was unanimously passed, and ordered to be
sent to the Prime Minister and the Food Controller (Lord
Beaconsfield)."--_The Western Gazette_.
* * * * *
"Lamp-posts and trees and other pedestrians were found with unpleasant
and sometimes violent frequency."--_Beckenham Journal_.
That's the worst of a fog; landmarks will keep on walking about.


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