And it usually is, I must admit.
Schilling lingered. "I hope you won't blame me for lining up against you,
Matt," said he. "I don't want to, but I've got to."
"Why?"
"You know what'd become of me if I didn't."
"You might become an honest man and get self-respect," I suggested with
friendly satire.
"That's all very well for you to say," was his laughing retort. "You've
made yourself tight and tidy for the blow. But I've a family, and a damned
expensive one, too. And if I didn't stand by this gang, they'd take
everything I've got away from me. No, Matt, each of us to his own game.
What _is_ your game, anyhow?"
"Fun--just fun. Playing the pipe to see the big fellows dance."
But he didn't believe it. And no one has believed it--not even my most
devoted followers. To this day Joe Ball more than half suspects that my
real objective was huge personal gain. That any rich man should do anything
except for the purpose of growing richer seems incredible. That any rich
man should retain or regain the sympathies and viewpoint of the class from
which he sprang, and should become a "traitor" to the class to which he
belongs, seems preposterous. I confess I don't fully understand my own
case.
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