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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"First Plays"

Though I don't know what Mrs. Higgins--
(An extremely angry voice is heard outside, and MRS. HIGGINS, stout
and aggressive, comes in.)
MRS. HIGGINS (truculently). You sent for me, ma'am?
EMILY (nervously). Yes--er--I think if you--perhaps--
PHILIP (calmly). _I_ sent for you, Mrs. Higgins. I want some
breakfast. Didn't Mary tell you?
MRS. HIGGINS. Breakfast is at eight o'clock. It always has been as
long as I've been in this house, and always will be until I get
further orders.
PHILIP. Well, you've just got further orders. Two eggs, and if
there's a ham--
MRS. HIGGINS. Orders. We're talking about orders. From whom in this
house do I take orders, may I ask?
PHILIP. In this case from me.
MRS. HIGGINS (playing her trump-card). In that case, ma'am, I wish
to give a month's notice from to-day. _In_clusive.
PHILIP (quickly, before his aunt can say anything). Certainly. In
fact, you'd probably prefer it if my aunt gave _you_ notice, and
then you could go at once. We can easily arrange that. (TO AUNT
EMILY as he takes out a fountain pen and cheque-book) What do you
pay her?
EMILY (faintly). Forty-five pounds.
PHILIP (writing on his knee). Twelves into forty-five. ...
(Pleasantly to MRS. HIGGINS, but without looking up) I hope you
don't mind a Cox's cheque. Some people do; but this is quite a good
one.


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