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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"First Plays"

(Tearing it out) Here you are.
MRS. HIGGINS (taken aback). What's this?
PHILIP. Your wages instead of notice. Now you can go at once.
MRS. HIGGINS. Who said anything about going?
PHILIP (surprised). I'm sorry; I thought _you_ did.
MRS. HIGGINS. If it's only a bit of breakfast, I don't say but what
I mightn't get it, if I'm asked decent.
PHILIP (putting back the cheque). Then let me say again, "Two eggs,
ham and coffee." And Mary can bring the ham up at once, and I'll
get going on that. (Turning away) Thanks very much.
MRS. HIGGINS. Well, I--well--well! [Exit speechless.]
PHILIP (surprised). Is that all she ever says? It isn't much to
worry about.
EMILY. Philip, how could you! I should have been terrified.
PHILIP. Well, you see, I've done your job for two years out there.
EMILY. What job?
PHILIP. Mess President. ... I think I'll go and see about that ham.
(He smiles at her and goes out into the dining-room. AUNT EMILY
wanders round the room, putting a few things tidy as is her habit,
when she is interrupted by the entrance of UNCLE JAMES. JAMES is
not a big man, nor an impressive one in his black morning-coat; and
his thin straggly beard, now going grey, does not hide a chin of
any great power; but he has a severity which passes for strength
with the weak.)
JAMES.


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