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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"First Plays"

Before you start smoking all over the house, I should have
thought you would have asked your aunt's permission.
(PHILIP looks at him in amazement, and then goes to the door.)
PHILIP (calling). Aunt Emily! ... Aunt Emily! ... Do you mind my
smoking in here?
AUNT EMILY (from upstairs). Of course not, darling.
PHILIP (to JAMES, as he returns to his chair). Of course not,
darling. (He puts back his pipe in his mouth.)
JAMES. Now, understand once and for all, Philip, while you remain
in my house I expect not only punctuality, but also civility and
respect. I will _not_ have impertinence.
PHILIP (unimpressed). Well, that's what I want to talk to you
about, Uncle James. About staying in your house, I mean.
JAMES. I don't know what you do mean.
PHILIP. Well, we don't get on too well together, and I thought
perhaps I'd better take rooms somewhere. You could give me an
allowance until I came into my money. Or I suppose you could give
me the money now if you really liked. I don't quite know how father
left it to me.
JAMES (coldly). You come into your money when you are twenty-five.
Your father very wisely felt that to trust a large sum to a mere
boy of twenty-one was simply putting temptation in his way. Whether
I have the power or not to alter his dispositions, I certainly
don't propose to do so.


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