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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"First Plays"

Good heavens! of course it is. You don't think that you
wait until the other side has got just as many guns as you before
you attack? You're really rather lucky. Strictly speaking, I ought
to have thrown half a dozen bombs at you first. (Taking one out of
his pocket) As it happens, I've only got one.
JAMES (thoroughly alarmed). Put that back at once.
PHILIP (putting down the revolver and taking it in his hands). You
hold it in the right hand--so--taking care to keep the lever down.
Then you take the pin in the finger--so, and--but perhaps this
doesn't interest you?
JAMES (edging his chair away). Put it down at once, sir. Good
heavens! anything might happen.
PHILIP (putting it down and taking up the revolver again). Does it
ever occur to you, Uncle James, that there are about three million
people in England who know all about bombs, and how to throw them,
and--
JAMES. It certainly does not occur to me. I should never dream of
letting these things occur to me.
PHILIP (looking at the bomb regretfully). It's rather against my
principles as a soldier, but just to make things a bit more fair--
(generously) you shall have it. (He holds it out to him suddenly.)
JAMES (shrinking back again). Certainly not, sir. It might go off
at any moment.
PHILIP (putting it back in his pocket).


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