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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"First Plays"

Oh no; it's quite useless;
there's no detonator. ... (Sternly) Now, then, let's talk business.
JAMES. What do you want me to do?
PHILIP. Strictly speaking, you should be holding your hands over
your head and saying "Kamerad!" However, I'll let you off that. All
I ask from you is that you should be reasonable.
JAMES. And if I refuse, you'll shoot me?
PHILIP. Well, I don't quite know, Uncle James. I expect we should
go through this little scene again to-morrow. You haven't enjoyed
it, have you? Well, there's lots more of it to come. We'll rehearse
it every day. One day, if you go on being unreasonable, the thing
will go off. Of course, you think that I shouldn't have the pluck
to fire. But you can't be quite certain. It's a hundred to one that
I shan't--only I might. Fear--it's a horrible thing. Elderly men
die of it sometimes.
JAMES. Pooh! I'm not to be bluffed like that.
PHILIP (suddenly). You're quite right; you're not that sort. I made
a mistake. (Aiming carefully) I shall have to do it straight off,
after all. One--two--
JAMES (on his knees, with uplifted hands, in an agony of terror).
Philip! Mercy! What are your terms?
PHILIP (picking him up by the scruff, and helping him into the
chair). Good man, that's the way to talk. I'll get them for you.
Make yourself comfortable in front of the fire till I come back.


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