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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"First Plays"

Mrs. Tremayne was
gracious enough to imply that she would marry whichever one of us
fulfilled a certain condition.
DELIA. How sweet of her!
DEVENISH. It is my earnest hope, Miss Delia, that the man called
Baxter will be the victor. As far as is consistent with honour, I
shall endeavour to let Mr. Baxter (banging the table with his hand)
win.
DELIA. What was the condition?
DEVENISH. That I am not at liberty to tell. It is, I understand, to
be a surprise for you.
DELIA. How exciting! ... Mr. Devenish, you have been very frank.
May I be equally so? (DEVENISH bows.) Why do you wear your hair so
long?
DEVENISH (pleased). You have noticed it?
DELIA. Well, yes, I have.
DEVENISH. I wear it so to express my contempt for the conventions
of so-called society.
DELIA. I always thought that people wore it very very short if they
despised the conventions of society.
DEVENISH. I think that the mere fact that my hair annoys Mr. Baxter
is sufficient justification for its length.
DELIA. But if it annoys me too?
DEVENISH (heroically). It shall go.
DELIA (apologetically). I told you I wasn't a very romantic
person, didn't I? (Kindly.) You can always grow it again if you
fall in love with somebody else.
DEVENISH. That is cruel of you, Delia. I shall never fall in love
again.


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