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Milne, A. A. (Alan Alexander), 1882-1956

"First Plays"


TALKER. Madam, by nature I am a taciturn man; Silent John I am
named by my friends. I am a glum body, a reserved creature. These
things you will have already noticed. But now I will commit to you
it secret, known only to my dearest friends. Uncommunicative as I
am by nature (he disappears and reappears at the middle window), I
am still more so when compelled to hold converse with two such
ornaments of their sex (he disappears and reappears at the
right-hand window) through a lattice window. Am I getting any
nearer the door?
MOTHER (resigned). Pray, sir, come in and tell us all about it. I
see that we must have your tale.
TALKER. To be exact, Madame, I have two tails who follow me about
everywhere. One is of my own poor sex, a man, a thing of whiskers;
the other has the honour to belong to that sex which--have I said
it?--you and Mademoiselle so adorn. Have I your ladyship's permission?
DAUGHTER (eagerly). Oh, Mother, let them come.
MOTHER. Well, I suppose I must have you all.
TALKER (with a bow). Madame, I shall never forget this. Though I
live to be ninety-three, this will always be engraved upon my
memory. My grandchildren climbing upon my knee will wonder
sometimes of what the old man is thinking. Little will they know--
But I will attend you further within. [He bows and disappears.


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