For she did feel blessed, richly blessed, to
know the one true God in such an evil world of scowling idols.
Si'Wren's awareness was constantly filled with the wonders of the
palace, beyond the impregnable walls and outer battlements of which,
stretching far and wide, existed a savage land of perpetual misery. She
had grown much in wisdom, and in native understanding of the
frightfully wicked ways of the world, and found nothing but evil in a
society to whom such idols were a perpetual source of deliberate and
intentional foolishness.
But in seeking real spiritual truth, Si'Wren could only confess to
herself in private that she still knew next to nothing of the Invisible
God. Free to believe in the Invisible God, she had launched herself on
an inner voyage of discovery through vast uncharted realms of the
spiritual unknown. It was a deep and ongoing struggle to overcome
unrelenting feelings that she was as lost as ever, with only her
untutored conscience as her guide.
She could only try not to mimic the false worship she had been formerly
taught for idols, trusting blindly that Holy God would not find some
reason to be offended at her clumsy attempts to give obeisance to Him.
She sought in her heart how best to worship, but at first could only
bow low upon the woven rug in her private chamber, prostrating herself
humbly before an imaginary, holy countenance which she believed to be
all-seeing, and speak in her heart as if to an imaginary personality
that surely must be all-hearing, but she could only wonder what he
truly wanted.
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