When she
made it her first request to me that I would take the earliest
opportunity to retire from public life, and by settling on my
patrimonial estate release her from the slavery of a court, all my
former apprehensions vanished; and I began to flatter myself that the
love I had so fondly, so frankly, bestowed, had met with an equal
return. Prompt as we are to seize on every point which yields
confirmation to our secret wishes, and eagerly credulous, where the
entire happiness of our lives is dependent on our wilful self-
deception, is it wonderful that I mistook the calm fortitude of a
well-regulated mind for content, and the gratitude of a warm heart
for affection? I inquired not, I dared not inquire minutely into the
past; I shrunk from any question that might again disturb the
serenity of my mind by jealous fears. 'I will not speak of past
storms on so bright a day,' said I secretly while I gazed upon my
gentle Theresa; 'it might break the spell.' Alas! the spell endured
not long; for however unwillingly, we were now obliged to resume our
situation at Whitehall.
"Our re-appearance at court was marked by the most flattering
attentions on the part of the King and Queen. Several brilliant fetes
were given by their Majesties on occasion of our marriage; and I
began to fear that the homage which everywhere seemed to await my
young and lovely bride, and the promising career of royal favour
which opened to her view, might weaken her inclination for the
retirement we mediated.
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