The Governor having remained wounded at Parham till his recovery was
completed, Caesar did not know but he was still there, and indeed, for
the most part, his time was spent there: for he was one that loved
to live at other people's expense, and if he were a day absent, he was
ten present there; and used to play and walk, and hunt and fish with
Caesar, So that Caesar did not at all doubt, if he once recovered
strength, but he should find an opportunity of being revenged on
him; though, after such a revenge, he could not hope to live: for if
he escaped the fury of the English mobile, who perhaps would have been
glad of the occasion to have killed him, he was resolved not to
survive his whipping; yet he had some tender hours, a repenting
softness, which he called his fits of cowardice, wherein he
struggled with love for the victory of his heart, which took part with
his charming Imoinda there: but, for the most part, his time was
passed in melancholy thoughts and black designs. He considered, if
he should do this deed, and die either in the attempt or after it,
he left his lovely Imoinda a prey, or at best a slave to the enraged
multitude; his great heart could not endure that thought. "Perhaps,"
said he, "she may be first ravaged by every brute; exposed first to
their nasty lusts, and then a shameful death." No, he could not live a
moment under that apprehension, too insupportable to be borne. These
were his thoughts, and his silent arguments with his heart, as he told
us afterwards: so that now resolving not only to kill Byam, but all
those he thought had enraged him; pleasing his great heart with the
fancied slaughter he should make over the whole face of the
plantation; he first resolved on a deed that (however horrid it
first appeared to us all) when we had heard his reasons, we thought it
brave and just.
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