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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow"


My poor Martha, be not troubled about so many things. YOU are the
one thing needful--if the bricks and mortar are to be a home. See
to it that YOU are well served up, that YOU are done to perfection,
that YOU are tender and satisfying, that YOU are worth sitting down
to. We wanted a wife, a comrade, a friend; not a cook and a nurse
on the cheap.
But of what use is it to talk? the world will ever follow its own
folly. When I think of all the good advice that I have given it,
and of the small result achieved, I confess I grow discouraged. I
was giving good advice to a lady only the other day. I was
instructing her as to the proper treatment of aunts. She was
sucking a lead-pencil, a thing I am always telling her not to do.
She took it out of her mouth to speak.
"I suppose you know how everybody ought to do everything," she said.
There are times when it is necessary to sacrifice one's modesty to
one's duty.
"Of course I do," I replied.
"And does Mama know how everybody ought to do everything?" was the
second question.
My conviction on this point was by no means so strong, but for
domestic reasons I again sacrificed myself to expediency.
"Certainly," I answered; "and take that pencil out of your mouth.


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