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Jerome, Jerome K. (Jerome Klapka), 1859-1927

"Second Thoughts of an Idle Fellow"


That is what happens when you want to use the telephone from your
end. But that is not the worst that the telephone can do. A
sensible man, after a little experience, can learn to leave the
thing alone. Your worst troubles are not of your own making. You
are working against time; you have given instructions not to be
disturbed. Perhaps it is after lunch, and you are thinking with
your eyes closed, so that your thoughts shall not be distracted by
the objects about the room. In either case you are anxious not to
leave your chair, when off goes that telephone bell and you spring
from your chair, uncertain, for the moment, whether you have been
shot, or blown up with dynamite. It occurs to you in your weakness
that if you persist in taking no notice, they will get tired, and
leave you alone. But that is not their method. The bell rings
violently at ten-second intervals. You have nothing to wrap your
head up in. You think it will be better to get this business over
and done with. You go to your fate and call back savagely--
"What is it? What do you want?"
No answer, only a confused murmur, prominent out of which come the
voices of two men swearing at one another. The language they are
making use of is disgraceful.


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