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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Uneasy Money"

I don't quite see
what you think you're going to do when you get there, but that's
up to you.
'There's no harm in giving the city a trial. Anyway, I can give
you a letter or two that might help.'
'That's awfully good of you.'
'You won't mind my alluding to you as my friend William Smith?'
'William Smith?'
'You can't travel under your own name if you are really serious
about getting a job. Mind you, if my letters lead to anything it
will probably be a situation as an earnest bill-clerk or an
effervescent office-boy, for Rockefeller and Carnegie and that lot
have swiped all the soft jobs. But if you go over as Lord Dawlish
you won't even get that. Lords are popular socially in America,
but are not used to any great extent in the office. If you try to
break in under your right name you'll get the glad hand and be
asked to stay here and there and play a good deal of golf and
dance quite a lot, but you won't get a job. A gentle smile will
greet all your pleadings that you be allowed to come in and save
the firm.'
'I see.'
'We may look on Smith as a necessity.'
'Do you know, I'm not frightfully keen on the name Smith. Wouldn't
something else do?'
'Sure. We aim to please. How would Jones suit you?'
'The trouble is, you know, that if I took a name I wasn't used to
I might forget it.


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