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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Uneasy Money"


He rang the bell. The prematurely-aged office-boy, who was
undoubtedly destined to become a member of the firm some day,
answered the ring.
'Perkins.'
'Yes, sir?'
'Inspect yonder _soufflee_.'
'Yes, sir.'
'You have observed it?'
'Yes, sir.'
'You are wondering how it got there?'
'Yes, sir.'
'I will tell you. You and I were in here, discussing certain legal
minutiae in the interests of the firm, when it suddenly fell. We
both saw it and were very much surprised and startled. I soothed
your nervous system by giving you this half-crown. The whole
incident was very painful. Can you remember all this to tell my
father when he comes in? I shall be out lunching then.'
'Yes, sir.'
'An admirable lad that,' said Jerry Nichols as the door closed.
'He has been here two years, and I have never heard him say
anything except "Yes, sir." He will go far. Well, now that I am
calmer let us return to your little matter. Honestly, Bill, you
make me sick. When I contemplate you the iron enters my soul. You
stand there talking about your tuppenny-ha'penny job as if it
mattered a cent whether you kept it or not. Can't you understand
plain English? Can't you realize that you can buy Brown's and turn
it into a moving-picture house if you like? You're a millionaire!'
Bill's face expressed no emotion whatsoever.


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