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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Uneasy Money"


'When I led you to the altar,' he said, reproachfully, 'you
promised to love, honour, and obey me. I thought at the time it
was a bit of swank!'
Lady Wetherby's manner thawed. She became more friendly.
'When you talk like that, Algie, I feel there's hope for you after
all. That's how you used to talk in the dear old days when you'd
come to me to borrow half-a-crown to put on a horse! Listen, now
that at last you seem to be getting more reasonable; I wish I
could make you understand that I don't keep Clarence for sheer
love of him. He's a commercial asset. He's an advertisement. You
must know that I have got to have something to--'
'I admit that may be so as regards the monkey, Eustace. Monkeys as
aids to publicity have, I believe, been tested and found valuable
by other artistes. I am prepared to accept Eustace, but the snake
is worthless.'
'Oh, you don't object to Eustace, then?'
'I do strongly, but I concede his uses.'
'You would live in the same house as Eustace?'
'I would endeavour to do so. But not in the same house as Eustace
and Clarence.'
There was a pause.
'I don't know that I'm so stuck on Clarence myself,' said Lady
Wetherby, weakly.
'My darling!'
'Wait a minute. I've not said I would get rid of him.'
'But you will?'
Lady Wetherby's hesitation lasted but a moment.


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