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Wodehouse, P. G. (Pelham Grenville), 1881-1975

"Uneasy Money"


'I suppose you went out of kindness of heart to relieve the poor
lady's mind,' she said. 'But you certainly did the wrong thing.
You started something!'
'I didn't tell her the animal was here.'
'What did you tell her?'
'I said I had seen it, don't you know.'
'That was enough.'
'I'm awfully sorry.'
'Oh, we shall pull through all right, but we must act at once. We
must be swift and resolute. We must saddle our chargers and up and
away, and all that sort of thing. Show a flash of speed,' she
explained kindly, at the sight of Bill's bewildered face.
'But what has happened?'
'The press is on our trail. I've been interviewing reporters all
the afternoon.'
'Reporters!'
'Millions of them. The place is alive with them. Keen, hatchet-faced
young men, and every one of them was the man who really unravelled
some murder mystery or other, though the police got the credit for
it. They told me so.'
'But, I say, how on earth--'
'--did they get here? I suppose Lady Wetherby invited them,'
'But why?'
'She wants the advertisement, of course. I know it doesn't sound
sensational--a lost monkey; but when it's a celebrity's lost
monkey it makes a difference. Suppose King George had lost a
monkey; wouldn't your London newspapers give it a good deal of
space? Especially if it had thrown eggs at one of the ladies and
bitten the Duke of Norfolk in the leg? That's what our visitor has
been doing apparently.


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