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Haggard, H. Rider (Henry Rider), 1856-1925

"Beatrice"

Possibly you may not accept some particular form of
faith, but I tell you frankly that to reject all religion simply because
you cannot understand it, is nothing but a form of atrocious spiritual
vanity. Your mind is too big for you, Miss Granger: it has run away
with you, but you know it is tied by a string--it cannot go far. And now
perhaps you will be angry again."
"No, indeed, why should I be angry? I daresay that you are quite right,
and I only hope that I may be able to believe again. I will tell you how
I lost belief. I had a little brother whom I loved more than anything
else in the world, indeed after my mother died he was the only thing I
really had to love, for I think that my father cares more for Elizabeth
than he does for me, she is so much the better at business matters, and
Elizabeth and I never quite got on. I daresay that the fault is mine,
but the fact remains--we are sisters but we are not intimate. Well, my
brother fell ill of a fever, and for a long time he lay between life and
death, and I prayed for him as I never prayed for anybody or anything
before--yes, I prayed that I might die instead of him.


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