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Lewis, Alfred Henry, 1857-1914

"Wolfville"


"'Gents,' he says, as we-alls turns into the Red Light to be
refreshed, 'in assoomin' the present pressure I feels the
compliments paid me in the seelection. I shall act for the credit of
the camp, an' I needs your help. I desires that these rites be a
howlin' vict'ry. I don't want people comin' 'round next week
allowin' thar ain't been no funeral, an' I don't reckon much that
they will. We've got the corpse, an' if we gets bucked off now it's
our fault.'
"So he app'ints Old Monte an' Dan Boggs to go for a box for Jack,
an' details a couple of niggers from the corral to dig a tomb.
"'An' mind you-alls,' says Peets, `I wants that hole at least a mile
from camp. In order to make a funeral a success, you needs distance.
That's where deceased gets action. It gives the procession a chance
to spread an' show up. You can't make no funeral imposin' except
you're plumb liberal on distances.'
"It all goes smooth right off the reel. We gets a box an' grave
ready, an' Peets sticks up a notice on the stage-station door,
settin' the excitement for third-drink time next day. Prompt at the
drop of the hat the camp lets go all holds an' turns loose in a body
to put Jack through right.


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